Through some recent relationships and the unique experiences they have provided me taught me one important thing. I can't love anyone without first loving myself. Over the past couple of months I have practiced this idea. Of course I have spent a lot of time alone and thinking to myself in order to come up with these conclusions but it is something that I recommend for you too because it really changed me. The most important realization that I had was 1. Everyone cares more about how they feel before they are going to care how you feel, don't waste your time. 2. Finding what you enjoy most about yourself allows you to show that to other people.
No one really cares about how you feel they only care about themselves so what are you doing caring about them before yourself? Water your own grass before you get your neighbors, because if you run out of water your grass will die. You don't necessarily need to be selfish but you certainly shouldn't be selfless until you have an abundance of resources, a surplus, to give away.
When you spend some time figuring yourself out, canceling out the noise and really listening to those inner thoughts it opens up the opportunity to find what you enjoy most about your conscience. And trust me, the words that come out of your mouth are extremely different than the words you think in your head. What being able to listen to, interpret, and control the thoughts in your own head leads to is a number amount of realizations in your life. Who your friends are, who you like and dislike, what you can say and where you can say it. Try it out and let me know how it goes, to me, nothing feels better than sitting in a room and listening to my conscience interject on conversations I wouldn't join out loud.